Internalized Ableism Doesn’t Mean You Truly Want a “Cure”

“Prejudice against such minorities, he says, does not usually limit their abilities to find love or friends. His deficits, he explains, are social. He’s tried to make friends and interact in person more (for example, he’s joined support groups for people with depression, and another for people on the autism spectrum), but the crippling loneliness always returns. ”
The Debate Over an Autism Cure Turns Hostile; Newsweek

This autistic man claims if he were able to magically be “cured” he would be able to obtain friends, not be lonely, etc. Perhaps if he didn’t have such a terrible attitude and be so condescending and antagonistic toward others, he may have better luck.

Like him, I am unable to hold a steady job. I am unable to maintain healthy relationships (something I’ve been trying to write about for the last few days and struggling with – sorry – it’ll be done soon). I do find myself isolated and lonely at times. But you know what? I WORK IT OUT. I have accepted that I am very much an acquired taste. I explain autism and how it affects me, to those who want to listen. I am autistically out and proud.

Since accepting my neurology and helping others to accept it, I have found new autistic friends who get it, as well as allies, who have become my tribe. I have also found that several of my friends – new and old – have become far more accepting and closer to me, now that they can understand a lot of my social issues and work either around them or with me on them, adapting how we interact.

I just personally wish Mitchell would see that the neurodiversity movement is helping to END that isolation, by trying to teach people about autism and getting them to accept those who are autistic, so the general public will also willingly accept him into the fold. THAT is what the neurodiversity movement is about. I can’t understand why, if he hates being lonely so much, he’d be against an entire movement trying to educate people to be more accepting, accommodating, and tolerant of him as-is… rather than expecting him to change.

But since Mitchell doesn’t want our help and wants so badly to change who he is, maybe he should stop being so grumpy, work on his immaturity, and rather than wallowing in self-pity and low self-esteem… oh, I don’t know… use that analytical nature he obviously possesses to figure out the more negative aspects of his abrasive personality turning people off to interactions with him, then work on absolving himself of the negativity which is tying him down… he might have more than one friend.

Regardless, he is one of us and we do accept him into the fold… even if he does want an easy “fix” rather than working to adapt as many of us are doing… since that is what is required as humans to fit in, anyway. And we do accept him into the fold even if he does promote an ideology which IS dangerous and could lead to genocidal actions in the future. Maybe one day he’ll realize the “cure” everyone like him keep wishing for is really nothing more than preventing people like us being born in the first place. And autistic people who want that aren’t people who hate autism… they’re just people with really low self-esteem who need help for their depression.