You Do Not Own Your Daughter

Getting really tired of seeing this meme. How about you teach your daughter that her self-respect and education are the top priority in her life? Teach her that fashion is one thing, respecting her body and mind is another. Social interaction with boys is fine. Teaching her to have self-respect and the power of will to say, “No.” is the most important gifts you can give her.

I had a “boyfriend” at 12, played around with makeup when I was younger, wore it pretty regularly from age 13. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was nearly 18 and that was with someone I loved, who cared about me, and with whom I am still friends 17 years later. No pregnancies occurred, because we utilized protection, as all who want to prevent pregnancy should.

Several of my high school friends got pregnant, including one of my best friends at that time. She had two sons by the time we graduated. This girl, who was in AP Trigonometry and on the varsity soccer team, during our freshman year of high school – who wanted to be a pediatric cardiologist and was one of the most kind-hearted people I’ve ever met – now works a series of odd jobs to stay afloat and is one of the most cynical & jaded people I know.

She had absolutely no sense of self-worth, due to being raised in an abusive household, both emotionally and physically. Had someone gotten to her sooner in her life and told her that she was beautiful, smart, funny, and could offer the world so much more than just her body… maybe she would have believed it when my mom told her these things, as a teenager; the things my mother had told me, my entire life. Maybe she would have recognized how much more important her skills as a soccer player and savant-like math knowledge were, than seeking approval of boys by getting physical with them, only to be ditched days or weeks later.

Teach your daughters to respect themselves and the power of “No.” And then fashion won’t be an issue. Clothing and makeup doesn’t get people pregnant… sex does.

EDIT: Sex is great, as an adult, when you can make the conscious and responsible decision to have it. But until you understand the power of that decision, and you’re having it because you WANT to have it, not because you feel you NEED to have it… it shouldn’t even be in your purview.